3 rules UFC needs to put in place to protect its fighters

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This article was submitted by UFC Super Fan, a contestant on The Ultimate Writer Competition where writers from all over the world compete in a battle of article views on The Scrap.

Since 2013, when the sport was created, rules have existed for the UFC.

These rules limit several things, such as no eye pokes, no headbutts, no brass knuckles, and several other things that protect these fighters from unnecessary physical harm.

But what rules does the UFC have in place for emotional harm? Most specifically what if a fighter falls in love with his/her opponent, but doesn’t realize it until they get in the clinch with each other?

I decided to do some digging and asked the most attractive umpire in UFC history, Big John McCarthy, what his thoughts were on this dangerous situation. After telling me some false things about the difference between MMA and the UFC, I popped the question to him, to see what his thoughts were, but he ducked the question just like Khabib is ducking the McGregor rematch.

https://twitter.com/McGregorRousey/status/1184473864799215622

Since Big John did not answer the question, I decided to come up with a solution on my own to save the UFC fighters that are facing this epidemic.

Rule 1- If a male fighter gets an erection at any point of a clinch or grounded position, the erected fighter will have 15 minutes to become flaccid or the fight will be ruled a no contest.
Rule 2- If the fighter climaxes at any point of the fight, the fighter will be allowed a cigarette, and a glass of orange juice to recover.
Rule 3- If the sexual tension is mutual between the two fighters, they will have 20 minutes to engage in intercourse in front of the fans. After intercourse the fight will continue from the position the fight was stopped in, as long as both fighters are no longer aroused.

UFC has completely ignored this facet of the fighters’ well beings. How many fractured boners will it take for the UFC to put these rules into place to start protecting its fighters?

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Follow UFC Super Fan (@McgregorRousey), a competitor on Season 2 of The Ultimate Writer.

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